sad, angry, and annoyed no more.

I have made a decision to love. 

I am not going to lie and tell you that EVERYONE I meet I instantly love and no one bothers me in the slightest. That would be untrue. And quite frankly I don't know of anyone that is truly 100% like this. 

We are all hurt, dissapointed, let down, and even annoyed by others. I feel that lately I have let these emotions get the best of me. I was allowing others to mold my attitude and spirit. 

I just recently realized how much this affects a persons spiritual and emotional condition. And I am tired of it making me sad, angry, and annoyed. 

I know I will not be best buddies with everyone I know, but I am commanded to love them, and I believe that to truly love someone you have to look past their faults. Whether they honestly hurt you or they just do things that get under your skin. 

I do things that hurt God every day but I have never had to worry about Him letting it affect how much he loved me. 

I want to be like that. 

So, from here on out I will simply love.

And pray that God gives me the strength to do that. 

Missionary.

I was called to the mission field in 2006, a year after I trusted Christ as my Savior. 

At that point I assumed that would mean I would marry a man that was called to be a missionary. In July I married a state trooper. 

I had and have absolutely no doubt it was God's will for me to marry J. He is exactly who God had for me and I am exactly who God had for him. (Is that not the coolest thing ever or what?!)

Also he is being super supportive of all that this post is about and I couldn't thank him enough.

But needless to say I did begin to wonder how and where I would serve on a mission field. 

This week at our church we are having missions revival and Sunday morning when my dad preached arguably the most stirring, thought provoking, beautiful message I have ever heard. (Seriously y'all, he knocked it out of the park) You can listen to it HERE. 

Anyways, during this message I could not help but wonder "What is it that God has for me?"

I haven't had peace about a career in anything. I have changed majors and schools what seems to be 100 times and have never felt that any of these changes were God's calling for my life. I love photography and will forever cherish my camera but don't believe for a second that that is what my sole purpose is. The past four years I have longed to know what career path I was supposed to take and where I should finish college, but Sunday morning I realized that I have been searching for something that I discovered in 2006. 

Now don't get me wrong I have a job right now that I really enjoy doing and will stay here until I am sure what direction God is leading, but selling wedding dresses is not my mission field, at least not in the long term.

I sobbed last night while talking to my dad and husband about how I am so ready to know what my mission field is. I have some ideas, but I also know that when God presents it to me it will be so clear. I am trying to be patient as I await this presentation. And I can not even explain how excited I am about it. 

I want to know right this second what it is and for whatever reason God is telling me to wait. I don't know if I will find out tomorrow, next month, or 5 years from now, but I wouldn't trade this sweet communion I am having with God for anything. 

During my last two years of high school and my first semester of college I was running from this calling. I wanted to be a nurse, and then a teacher, and then a journalist, and then a business owner, etc. When in the back of mind I knew what God wanted me to be. If I could take back those three years I would. I would reconsider my choices and maybe make new ones. 

But thankfully, I am hear now. I have been struggling with what mission field God was calling me to since last years missions conference and it feels so good to have finally shared with my family what has been heavy on my heart. 

I am so grateful for God's grace and love. And I am so grateful He decided to use people to spread his Word. 

I am not sure of the exact direction my life will go but for now I will be the best dress consultant I can be, I will be the best church member I can be, and I will be the best photographer I can be. These will be my mission fields until God is ready to show me a new one. 

the honeymoon.

We debated and debated about where we wanted to go on our honeymoon.
-Cruise
-California
-Travel up north to Boston/New York

After a lot of serious thinking we did..... none of these.

As most of you know J and I have a very extensive travel the world list. Unfortunately most of these cost a lot of money. So we decided to go on an almost free honeymoon. We also didn't want to go anywhere and have to do anything. I knew I would be exhausted from wedding craziness and was I right!

As a gift we were given 2 nights at the Greenbrier and it was all inclusive.

Back story: I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO STAY AT THE GREENBRIER.

So needless to say I was thrilled.

Then we went to Florida and stayed at the always relaxing family beach house.

And then we went to Key Largo, where we took the plunge and went scuba diving.

Honestly I was so scared that morning I was secretly wishing the storm they were calling for would cancel our dive. But as soon as I jumped in the water I was hooked. (pun intended)

We saw hundreds of fish, barracuda, and a shark. Yes, a shark. I wanted to go hug the big guy. It was a dream come true on my very first trip diving.

We spent a few more days in Daytona and then made the trek back to North Carolina.

It really was the perfect week. We had a lot of relaxing with a little bit of adventure, and although I am usually an adventure junkie I was thankful for the break.