training.

I start my 16 week marathon training tomorrow.

wish me luck.

redbox and its problems.

I really miss going into the movie stores to get a movie.

yes, redbox is a more convenient cheaper version of this but I loved going to the nearest movie rental store and spending at least twenty minutes looking through old movies, adding to my watch list, and of course renting certain movies over and over again.

I find pleasure in little things like going to the grocery store, reading greeting cards, and movie rental places.

redbox is so impersonal.
give me a blockbuster please.

flashbackk.

keep calm, and eat a burrito.

for those of you who don't know her, her name is Anna Morris.
also known as my best friend.


when I went to Tampa I was honestly expecting not to gain a new best friend.
I had a few great ones already and just never imagined I would be blessed with another.
I was incredibly 100% wrong.

she was a random roommate.
and I was in south america when the selections were posted.
I went to a little internet cafe in south america and found that I was friends with an anna morris and that I had been chatting with her... although I had not been, another best friend of mine, alex, had been.
so I introduced myself to her and began my stalking.
at first glance I knew she was not the psycho killer type, she had a very normal looking family, and she obviously could sing due to the countless musical pictures she had on her profile.
and let me tell you she can singggg.

so we got to know each other, which more or less meant we got to know ourselves... being that we are almost the same person when it comes to likes and dislikes.
I liked her, she liked me.
she bought me a tinker bell cup and brought a 500 days of summer poster to school and I knew she was a keeper.

the first few weeks we really got to know each other and really started to open up... considering we didn't know many people it was nice to have someone to turn to when you really missed home.
then she auditioned for the first semester musical.... The Wild Party. I dressed her in some of my "lucky" clothes and she went and sang for a minor role.
she got a call back for that role and another part, which she got, which was the lead... and let's be honest, I was more excited than she was.

and so it began, the never ending rehearsals and always in my head wild party soundtrack.
and then something else began...
his name is Brandon Shea.

they met in auditions and were both lead roles, and lead roles that had to act like they were in love... the acting didn't last long.
I encouraged this relationship while anna was unsure of what to do... it was nice being there for someone when I felt so far from home.
and then it got to the point where I no longer had to encourage.
they were inseparable.. and they had the cutest relationship, and when I say they I mean us.
I "third wheel" like a champ.
so I got to know the incredibly talented, hilarious, lovable brandon shea.
and let me just say I approve.

so the three of us were inseparable. and ate burritos every day.
they would then go to rehearsals and I would wait for them bored out of my mind,
sometimes I would pass the time by doing homework... until I discovered miss chelsea didn't have anything to do during this time either...
but anyways. this lasted for a couple months and then for about two weeks before the show they both kinda dissapeared from my life.. except for when I took them food to the theatre.
but I kept anna sane and tried to remind her that she is extremely talented...
I surprised her, took her to starbucks, read lines with her,  and broadcasted the show to everyone on campus.
essentially I was her understudy.

the night of the show... we can just say I was blown away by both of them.
after attending every show and getting to know the cast I could tell why anna was so passionate about it.
I have never been so proud of a friend as I was of her that weekend.

so the show was over and I got her back between the hours of 7 and 12. it was nice.
and then I discovered I was transferring and my first thought was that I would lose her.
I cried, she cried, I don't think brandon ever cried but he wanted to... I just know it.
then I realized that there is no way I would ever lose a friend like that.

she was there for me when I couldn't talk to anyone else and I forever thank her for that.
I spent my last weekend in florida with her at her house, and that sunday I left I cried for a solid hour driving.
and honestly, writing this right now is making me cry.
I can't tell you why and I don't know how to explain in but in a matter of months our friendship turned into something that doesn't happen often. I would trust her with anything and I am blessed to have a friend like her.

so here is to all the disney singing,
late night car rides screaming out the window (while harmonizing),
huge daily burritos,
eating way to many sour patch kids,
taking way too many pictures,
pinning ya agains,
going to sketchy go cart places (remember that???),
learning the juggernaut,
starbucks coffees,
#madeuphastags (#hojolovin),
wishing I had an iphone,
peppermint... so much peppermint,
surprises that you hate and I love,
brandon shea sharing,
knowing what the other is thinking,
and so on and so forth.

here is to us,

and our "random roommate" friendship.
thank you University of Tampa reslife... I owe you one.

here in the power of Christ I'll stand.

as I stated in one of my previous posts... life never goes as you plan it.
I can't tell you how many times I have thought something would work out one way, and then it turned out differently.
I think it's because when we are Christ's He doesn't want us to have it all planned out, because then we would not be willing or ready to do whatever it was that He had for us.

since I was able to understand who God was I have been told that I should seek God's will and do what He wants me to do. I always expected this to be some huge deal that came to me in some miraculous way.

lately I have realized that that is not it at all. God speaks in a still small voice and He gives you one step at a time, not your entire life planned out. now you may think that God wants you to do something for the rest of your life which may very well be true but at any moment that "plan" can change.

God is not here to mess with us, He is not going to leave doubt when He tells you what He wants for your life. and He is not going to leave you alone to do it. but before you can ever know the big things, you must be doing the small things.

I have seemed to overlook this step, but honestly it's so simple. of course you have to have a personal deep relationship with Him before He can show you exactly what you are meant to do... how else would He be able to tell you.

I have been so discouraged lately wondering if I will ever figure it out, but after talking to my dad tonight I realized that God's will for me right now is to draw closer to Him, and let's be honest that is going to take some work.

I want to do huge things for God, but first I am going to have to do something small.

doctors shmocters.

yesterday I came down with some fast acting, incredibly not fun, sickness.
today I went to the doctor and they basically told me "We don't know what is wrong with you, and we can't really do much; try a Z-pack and see how that does."

doctors amaze me sometimes.
maybe thats another reason I decided against going into the medical field all of a sudden.

you don't really know how the human body works... you just think you do.

that is all my ranting for now.

2012.

happy 2012.
I do hope that everyone enjoyed 2011.
however, I must say my 2011 was the most bittersweet year I have had, and I am very thankful it is over.

I had another knee surgery.
I lost a best friend, and someone that I loved very very much... and the worst part of that being was it was his choice to walk out of my life.
I dyed my hair brown.
I graduated high school which was happy and sad, sappy, if you will.
I went back to Guyana and spent ten beautiful days with beautiful people that love God more than I ever thought I could.
I started college in Tampa which also meant I moved to Tampa.
I dyed my hair back to blonde, thank goodness my brunette days are over.
I made a new friend, her name is Anna Morris and she is wonderful.
And I moved back to NC.

It was a rough year to say the least but I am sure that God was teaching me many things throughout it that I will use for the rest of my life.

And to be honest January 1st of this year may have been one of the best days of my life, thanks to my church and most importantly my God.
and for the first time in a long time I can say it is well...

and mean it.