feel like...

I feel like I should be okay now...
like the crying should have stopped.

like I really am going to be okay... because everyone is telling me I am going to be.
I feel like I should believe them..
but I can't.

I feel like it IS the ends of the world.
like everything I have known to be true is really just a lie.
like the one thing I thought I was so sure off, was wrong.

I feel like I should have known, even though I had no clue.
and now I am just left here in shock.

I feel like I should be excited about graduating friday,
and pumped about the beach with so many amazing people on saturday.
but instead I just feel like I could be sick.

and I am good at hiding it around people.
but this is where I can't hide it.
I can't lie when I write it all down.

I don't know what emotion this is.
it's worse than sadness.
it's not anger.

it's something altogether different.
and it's not one I enjoy having.